Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Five Reasons Why Christmas should be Cancelled

It's that time of year when people will start retorting that tired clich© 'this year has gone so quick, its almost Christmas', just as you thought you'd got away without allowing the all consuming messages about the ubiquitous holiday period to filter into your consciousness, friends, family and workout colleges start to mention it in every other sentence.

Thank god then that I've been able to avoid thus far the mad furore around Christmas for the past five years by escaping to a Spanish Island off the coast of Morocco, here the locals are far more relaxed about Christmas, an attitude which suits me down to the ground solenoids suit electric motors.

Sadly, this year I'm back home and bracing myself for the wave of tacky Christmas mania that about to sweep over me. Here are five good reasons why I think this sickeningly twee holiday period should be cancelled for good:

We would save loads of money

Imagine the luxury and piece of mind that would come with buying gifts for other people that they didn't want. And we wouldn't have to traipse round packed shopping malls and supermarkets looking for that perfect gift. Bliss. We also wouldn't make electrical component suppliers rich.

We Wouldn't have to Force Conversation with Great Aunt Maud

Let's be honest with ourselves, the majority of us don't enjoy speaking to our great uncle Fred about his work with the British Red Cross in 1934!

We wouldn't have to act surprised when we open presents

Acting that you like the clone of the Knitted Rudolf pullover that you've received every since 1997 tends to get tiresome after a while. In lieu of Christmas we could keep our closets knitwear free and waterproof switches.

We Wouldn't Unwittingly Overindulge

I tend to eat fairly well for most of the year, yet I'm still a tad overweight, I attribute this to the obligatory two week long binge that is customary over Christmas.

January Wouldn't be such a Drag

The only reason that January is such an anticlimactic month is because it follows Christmas. Without Christmas, the proverbial hangover we suffer in January would not have to be endured

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